Feeling my way through an author crisis

Photo by Robson MorganIt’s 4.15am and I’m back downstairs after only three hours in bed. No sleep. Tossing and turning.

Sleepless nights and I aren’t strangers. But, unusually, this has nothing to do with my medical condition. It’s to do with the book I’m writing. I’m experiencing a crisis.

Here’s the thing: THE HONESTY OF TIGERS is being received very well. It’s getting wonderfully clever reviews, and readers are sending me beautiful emails. And that’s why I’m suddenly in a crisis.

Because, for the first time ever, I know that this new book I’m writing, SKY TRAIN, isn’t going to measure up well alongside the one I just released.

It’s the subject matter. Part of the subject matter. In TIGERS, for those of you who haven’t read it, the hero grows until he discovers and embraces his feminine side. It changes everything about and around him. All his interactions with the world. It goes deep. He grows away from male violence, and opens himself to love.

So having reached 20k in SKY TRAIN, about 1/5 through writing it, I’m looking at the male violence my new hero Tom Russell is participating in, and I’m recoiling from it.

I’m not going to drop SKY TRAIN. It’s a good story featuring characters I’ve already fallen in love with. Not going to bin it. Going to take it deeper.

I’m going back, starting right now at 4.35am this Sunday morning, and I’m going to seed changes in Tom. Starting with his internal dialogue. That’s what I’m going to do.

Thanks for listening. ๐Ÿ™‚

Sitrep

Photo by Joe GardnerThe Honesty of Tigers released smoothly last week, and readers have posted some wonderful reviews. This is a book of my heart. I’m very happy to see it being received so well.

Book 1 of my space western series Sky Train is going well too. I’m up to 20k words and thoroughly enjoying the journey. I used Joe Gardner’s photo, above, to visualise a fast and dangerous aircraft chase through a mountain pass. Loving this story. ๐Ÿ™‚

While our grandchildren (the two who live with us) are away on holiday with their dad, my wife and daughter are decorating our downstairs rooms with lovely new wallpapers and fresh paint. And we’ve had a man in to fix the shower in our downstairs bathroom (the one I prefer to use) which bust suddenly two weeks ago. So the house has been turned upside down a bit, but it’ll all be sorted by the time the kids come home this weekend.

I’ve enjoyed the Olympics hugely. Leaving aside the fairly obvious signs of corruption among officials at various levels and from various countries, I found nearly all the athletes inspiring. More than in any games I’ve watched.

So that’s me. Happy and quietly productive. Only for an hour or two, four or five days per week, because my illness never goes away. But I’m enjoying what I’m writing, and I can’t ask for more than that.

How are you?

THE HONESTY OF TIGERS is published!

The Honesty of TigersLiving his life again. Same person, same fishing village, same years. But this time the world shows him a different face.

Ken Jackson builds traditional boats in a small Cornish fishing town, where everyone might not have heard everything about everyone else, but if they haven’t, it isn’t for the want of listening. Which complicates matters for Ken, because he has a secret: he’s living his life all over again.

It sounds like a dream come true. He’s got the chance to make things right for his loved ones, and to avoid all his old regrets. But the past is never that simple. Ken’s second life opens his eyes to different sides of people and places, and what’s a man to do when his hopes and dreams and carefully laid plans are ripped apart?

THE HONESTY OF TIGERS is available from Amazon.com, Amazon UK, Kobo,ย iBooksย andย B&N.

This novel means a great deal to me. I put a lot of myself into it. Not to say it’s autobiographical, because it isn’t, but there’s a big slice of me in it.

One of my first readers thinks it’s the best book I’ve written. I don’t know. That isn’t for me to say. But I wrote it while going through some deep stuff, life-changing health stuff, and clearly it comes from that place.

Here is my book. I wrote it for you. I hope you enjoy it. ๐Ÿ™‚

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