Now in the 3rd month of my worst ME relapse for 7 years. Not the longest by any means, but definitely the most painful. Pretty sure it’s been triggered by my managed steroid reduction. My GP insists the reduction is essential and I trust him, but the severe pain never goes away and makes me so sick.
Out of bed for 3 or 4 hours a day, for a shower and to catch-up online mostly. Still too ill to write, but at least this week I’ve been able to read, which I couldn’t do for all of the previous month. Started JK Rowling’s The Silkworm this Thursday and managing about 4 short chapters a day. It’s good.
If this relapse lifts, I’ll get right back into writing my YA epic fantasy The Orphan Age. I miss writing my heroine Molly, whose ME is similar to mine.
If the relapse doesn’t lift, if this turns out to be my new level of health, which is entirely possible and has happened before, then I guess I will have retired from writing.
That would be a real kick in the gut. I’ve been writing ever since I got ill, and various publishers have released 7 of my books in that time. Even at my healthiest (Ha!) I’m a million miles too ill to self-publish. I don’t know what I’d do if I couldn’t write. The thought of it is like staring into space.
It’s a worry, but there’s no point in dwelling on something over which I have no power or influence. I’ll just carry on taking it one hour at a time.